Back to School

My Hypnotherapy and Counselling books

 One of the main reasons I decided to come home was because I felt a strong urge to study again.  I really did enjoy teaching a lot, but felt it wasn't fulfilling my purpose in life.  After months and months of procrastinating, I finally came to the conclusion of something that may fill that gap:  Hypnotherapy and Counselling.  Although I originally studied a music degree at university, and I do still have a great passion for music, I feel that I don't want it as the core of my working life (part-time would be nice!).

There are many reasons I have chosen these subjects, but primarily I feel that having a job where you can actually make some sort of a difference to somebody's life is incredibly meaningful.  Also, from my experience of teaching at Web, I have found that I am most comfortable working with either one person or with small groups of people.  This, along with a list of other reasons, has brought me to studying Hypnotherapy and Counselling.  I have now started both courses and am finding them greatly interesting, and even exciting -- especially the Hypnotherapy course.  A huge variety of problems can be successfully treated with this therapy, from anxiety and addictions, to phobias and obsessive compulsive disorder.  The feeling of having it done -- and doing it -- is by itself a worthwhile experience.  Many people believe that you are actually asleep while under hypnosis, but this is a myth.  The best way I can describe it is that of the short period of time when you are just about to drift off to sleep; still consciously aware, but relaxing into the first stage of sleep.   Once the session is over you feel so very relaxed, but also refreshed and ready to do anything.  

At the moment I couldn't be enjoying these classes more, I can't wait for the next ones (I wish school could have been more like this).  I have even finished all of my homework assignments long before I needed to.

Now, I just need to find a job to continue funding the courses....    

I'm Alive....

Just to prove I am indeed living

....because you may have thought I was dead considering it's been almost 11 months since my last blog post!

I'm sure you can guess the reason for my absence by just reading said previous blog post.  Just one thing stopped me from writing pages and pages of more drivel:  The Great Firewall of China.  I did try to use a proxy server (a computer network that will connect to websites on your behalf making it look like you are in another country), but found that the terribly slow speed and lack of security was too much of an issue to ignore.  After a few failed attempts at logging onto Blogger I very quickly learnt to live without blogging in my life.  I could have tried an alternate website, but the fear I had of other blog sites being blocked put me off.  You see, Blogger was just the beginning of a new internet crackdown in China.  Twitter and Facebook soon faced the axe, and even IMDB was blocked at one point.  It seemed no site on the planet was safe from the over-sensitive internet police of China.

"How can you be writing this blog post now?"  I hear you ask (oh no, that's just the voice inside my head).  Well, two weeks ago I managed to climb over the wall and escape to the safe island state of the United Kingdom -- which really means I've come back home.  It was not an easy decision to make by any means, but I felt the right time had come.   Almost 3 years in China had flown by so incredibly quickly, I could very easily see myself staying in the same position in another 3 years, and then 6 years, and then 12 ye....you get the idea.  Another factor that was calling me to leave was because I had finally decided on something I genuinely would like to study and do as a career.  I was just torn as to whether to stay in China for longer or not.  The itch to make a change became too much and I took the plunge of leaving the life, love, and friends I had made.  Now, back home with my family in Manchester, England, I am starting on a brand new path by studying two subjects that will lead to the career I really want:  Counselling and Hypnotherapy.

The most difficult part of leaving was having to part from Kimi, my girlfriend.  She had known for a very long time that I hadn't intended to live in China forever, and she was a big deciding factor as to whether I should come home now or not.  Luckily for me she was very supportive and understanding about my decision.  Now we are working on the long arduous visa process so that she can finally come and live with me here.  For the next 12 months we have planned to make sure we see each other via holidays.  She will come on holiday in summer and I will go on holiday back to China at the end of the year.  It is by no means a perfect solution, but it's the best we can do considering the circumstances.

That's pretty much my life updated.  Next blog post will be sometime in 2011 then....

Not really!  In fact I have a host of subjects I would like to write about over the coming months.  As mentioned above, I will certainly be updating progress on Kimi's move to the UK over the next year; I will continue to write about China as I still have almost one year's worth of stories to look back on (which was also the reason I decided not to start a completely new blog); Also, I would like to document my progress with regards to studying, job hunting, and living in the UK -- something which is quite removed from life in China.  But the main reason I have decided to start writing on my blog again is the same reason I started blogging in the first place: to keep a diary.

In all honesty I have sorely missed doing this, just writing about anything seems to rattle the dust from my mind.  I look forward to more blogs to come.  

P.S.  If anybody is reading, then I hope you like the new design -- it took me bloody ages!!

Results

"For International Traveller", I wonder who he is?

Yesterday I received the results from my medical test. I think I'm in the clear after reading that I have "no quarrantinable disease, infectious disease under surveillance or any other disease which is highly dangerous to the public". This means I can renew my work permit and stay in China for another year. I have also been given two souvenirs from the trip: a certificate of health (see above), and the X-Ray of my chest.

As I thought would be the case, my blood pressure was a little high -- but not too bad -- and my pulse was also over 100BPM. You can see how ingrained the fear of hospitals is wedged into my subconscious mind. I blame it on a visit to a hospital when I was 10 years old. While at my grandma's house I fell onto one of those metal draught excluders that are placed underneath doors which lead to the outside. I had cut my leg wide open. Thankfully my grandma used to be a nurse and she knew exactly what to do. We rushed to the nearest hospital and saw a doctor (whose name I still remember: Jim Smalley). He had to stitch me up, but this meant applying anaesthetic -- which had to go directly into the wound, with injections, six times. I can still recall the pain to this day, it was horrendous. Fourteen stitches later and I was out of the hospital with a kind of relief I have never experienced since.

Although I am no psychologist or psychiatrist, I am sure this has played a huge part in my completely uncontrollable fear of hospitals to this day. Anyway, I am officially disease-free, so I should be happy.

I promise to have no more hospital-related blog posts for -- hopefully -- a long time. It makes me feel a little queasy.

Medical Check

I have been working at Web for one year, something which really leaves me in disbelief. I cannot comprehend how quickly the year has gone. To celebrate this, I have to take a medical test. This is because my working (Z) visa is about to expire. Web will renew it for me, but before they can I have to pass the test. This is the law unfortunately. These are the people who have to take it:

• Foreigners staying in China for an extended period of time (strangely enough, if you want to stay for 6 months you don't need it, but if it is for one year or more, then you must have it).
• Chinese people leaving the country for holiday or immigration.
• Chinese people coming back to the country after living abroad.

This morning at 9pm, Nancy (who works in the human resources department at Web) took me to Wenzhou's medical centre, a bleak looking building with awful Chinglish written on every single sign. The sound of a child crying echoed through the corridor when we entered -- not a great start. We enter a lounge/waiting room and pick up an application form, I try to forget that China's health care system is graded lower than Iraq's. I filled out the short form saying who I am and why I am here, I applied one of my passport photographs (see below) to the form -- but had to get another one taken for another mysterious purpose -- and Nancy paid a whopping 350 RMB (£35) for the tests to begin.

The passport photo I had to have taken for the test (only added because I don't have any another other relevant photographs, and I pledged to add at least one picture per blog post)

In all honesty I hate, absolutely hate this kind of thing. The second I step foot in a hospital I can feel my heart racing and my blood pressure boiling. I think I have inherited it from my mum who is exactly the same. I know the logical reasons for not being worried, but somehow, somewhere in my mind, I allow all logic to be bypassed and worry anyway.

First was the blood test. It was like approaching a box office and buying a ticket for a show, but instead of getting a ticket I got a jab. I had to slide my arm in the space under the perspex glass, a grumpy middle-aged woman tied my arm (just like how heroin users do it in films) and extracted the blood -- and quite a lot of it too.

One thing I had been taught to look out for in China was the syringe. For anybody who has to take the test here, make sure you witness the nurse unwrapping the needle in front of your eyes. If you don't see that then refuse. The reusing of needles does take place in some places, luckily not in Wenzhou.

Second was the urine test. This one slipped my mind, and I had totally forgotten to drink copious amounts of water after getting up in the morning. I didn't need to go at all, so we asked to delay that test until the end.

Third, X-ray. I was taken up a short flight of stairs into a corridor, each room I knew I had to visit. We entered the X-ray room, this time a grumpy man told me to take off my shirt. I pushed myself against a metal slab and the picture was taken. Next....

Fourth, Eye and Lymph node test. The first time I did this test in Hangzhou I forgot to bring my glasses which was difficult to explain when I couldn't speak a word of Chinese. I remembered them this time. An elderly grumpy woman felt my face and throat and opened a page of a colour-blind test book. Then I was signalled to sit on a chair across from elderly grumpy woman and read the large-to-small up, down, left, right directions.

Fifth, ECG. I lied down, had a lot of scary-looking electrodes placed all over my body, and saw a print out of some complicated-looking results emerge from a printer. At this point I asked myself what the point of all this was. I can hardly spread a heart condition to the population of China can I? If anybody knows I would love to know.

Sixth, heart and lung test (I think). A man who looked to be in his mid to late seventies stuck a stethoscope on my heart and moved it around my lungs. Not a word spoken. I wondered if he thought I had a heart condition from the rate it was probably going. Even extended time in the hospital doesn't calm me down, only when I leave will it go back to normal.

Seventh, (will it ever end?) Ultrasound. Not only for expecting mothers, but also for foreigners coming to China. It was getting boring now, but yet another grumpy woman asked me to pull up my shirt as she applied the cold gooey substance to my abdomen. On the monitor I could see some of my organs, although the picture quality was terrible. The nurse threw a couple of pieces of tissue on my stomach and I cleaned off the liquid.

Eighth, blood pressure and height. Grumpy young woman (do they all hate their job or are they attempting to come across as professional?) sat me down on a chair and did the usual blood pressure thing. First time it was too high, she asked me to go out, take a rest and come back. I told her it would be a waste of time, unless you can ship Paul Mckenna over to relax me, then nothing will change. She did it again, and somehow it was better, but still a little higher than normal.

Ninth, urine test part two. I still didn't feel the need to do anything, so I drank a lot of water and had a nice chat with Nancy for a while. Nature called in the end, and I went to what was a very unsanitary toilet. I am glad I didn't need to go before doing the tests otherwise I might have backed out. The cup was filled and taken to another box office counter.

Finally I received a gift from the clinic: a free breakfast. The bag contained a carton of milk and six small bread buns.

Are such detailed tests really needed just for a laowai to live and work in China? From the posters pinned up on the walls it is obvious that Aids is the biggest concern of all for the Chinese government, but what about the rest? Is it relevant to have an ultrasound test? What could possibly be found from an X-ray to cause my visa application to be rejected?

On a positive note, if I do have any problems that need attention, doing these tests on a yearly basis should find them, possibly saving my life. Having a full-body test for this reason should almost be compulsory for everybody -- but something tells me this isn't why the government has put this policy into action. Very confusing, but very glad it's over.

The Amazing Disappearing Skyscraper

After I finish writing this I have promised myself to keep pollution-related posts down to a bare minimum. I do not want to keep bashing the air quality, as sometimes it is perfectly OK (such as in this instance). A week or two ago I wrote this post which showcased some terrible pollution/fog. However, today has brought new lows to visibility in Wenzhou.

After working for eight days in a row at Web, I was very excited to finally have my two days of holiday. Things were starting to look up, the rain had finally stopped after more than twenty days, and even the sun made an appearance, it was warm, actually it was hot. Spring had been bypassed and summer was here, fantastic, I would surely have two sun-filled days off. As of this minute, it is almost lunch time and I am sitting in my bedroom (where my laptop is) in darkness. The sky has turned a depressing shade of grey, the rain has returned with force, and to my amazement Wenzhou's World Trade Centre -- the tallest skyscraper in the province -- has completely vanished.

The view from my balcony promises a breath-taking view of The Wenzhou World Trade Centre

Looks like today is the perfect opportunity for me to read my new, "How to Speak Chinese" book, and pick up the guitar again (it's been a while).

Women's Day

Sunday was Women's Day here in China -- a holiday not supported in the UK. It is a day to celebrate women and all of their achievements, so most of the department stores have a big sale for a day or two. Web also contributed to the holiday by taking us all out for dinner. But it wasn't just dinner, it was KTV too.

After finishing work we walked across the road to the same karaoke establishment Kimi and I had previously visited, the "Jolly 100". This time a mini-room would not be enough, what I think must be the largest of rooms was booked for us instead. Inside it was certainly spacious, with a cinema-type screen hung onto the wall -- it made reading the lyrics easy even without wearing my glasses.

The party in full swing

It was supposed to be a social gathering with a bit of singing, drinking, and eating, but it seemed although the idea was there, somehow it got lost along the way. The primary reason for this was the volume of the music, it was so high it was almost impossible to talk to each other. With a bit of shouting and speaking into each others ears, we made some effort to communicate with each other. A few Double Deer beers later and we, "the foreign teachers", even came to the stage to sing, "Hey Jude".

Like so many events and dinners I have attended in China, they don't slowly end with some people leaving early and some people staying until the bitter end. I find that a function will just stop, and within a few minutes almost everybody leaves within a split second. There's never an announcement or talk of leaving soon, just a kind of silent alarm that repels all people in a room. So at 9:15 we rapidly left the establishment, all with Tinnitus ringing in our ears.

Things to do on a Rainy Day in Wenzhou

My days off at Web had been changed since I returned from the UK in February. Previously I had managed to get Friday and Saturday which was incredibly cheeky considering Saturday and Sunday are two of the busiest days in the training centre. As they say, "If you don't ask you don't get".

Since I came back after my holiday the H.R. department had changed my days to Tuesday and Wednesday. I wasn't very happy about this, but I was promised I would have them changed back again after a month. Thankfully they have kept their word which has put a smile back on my face. It means I can go back to teaching children on Saturday and I will also be able to start having piano lessons. The downside of this is that I am now having to work seven days in a row until I make it to next Friday.

This week I had the pleasure of Kimi joining me on my days off. We planned to get out of the apartment and do something. This plan was immediately thrown in the rubbish when we looked out of the window: rain. The rain here has been ferocious and has no intention of stopping. As I write this we are on day 19 of uninterrupted rain. Apparently this is not completely natural either. There have been droughts in some parts of the Zhejiang province so the government have been using a chemical called silver iodide which forces rain clouds to dispense their lot rather prematurely. The first time I heard of such a thing being used here was for the opening ceremony of the Olympic games. Rain was scheduled to coincide with the event, so again, rockets were fired into the sky and a city outside of Beijing was flooded -- probably.

What is there to do on a rainy, dismal, and dull day in Wenzhou? There's only one answer: KTV. Kimi has been eager to go to karaoke for some time, Wednesday just seemed like the perfect day to be stuck inside. The KTV buildings are almost like hotels, you have to book a room, choose the size, and pay for how long you would like to use it for. We purchased the smallest room for a couple of hours, it was cheap at only 28 RMB. Inside, the rooms are neatly decorated with two microphones, a touch screen computer to select the songs, and a large wide-screen TV. I am by no means a qualified singer, but it is strangely enjoyable singing along to music videos in the privacy of a sound-proof room. It isn't easy finding English songs as the search function is useless. Instead you have to trawl through page after page trying to find an artist or song that is recognisable. There was a large choice of Abba, The Beatles, Westlife, and The Backstreet Boys; also some more obscure stuff like Richard Ashcroft, Cat Stevens, and The Animals were available too.

Kimi selecting a song in the "mini-room"

Somehow we managed to spend almost three hours in our room. By the time we checked out it was almost time for dinner. We had decided earlier in the day that we would go for a hotel buffet. They are more expensive than a usual dinner here, but now and again it is worth the treat -- especially as they have things like bread and butter on offer.

We arrived at The Dynasty Hotel opposite from Kimi's home just as the Buffet was starting. As we were about to enter the restaurant we noticed that the price had been raised, instead of the previous 98 RMB it was now 135 RMB. We took a look in the two other hotels close by the Dynasty to compare prices. One of the others was only 68 RMB but was full, and the second was 158 RMB, too much. Back we went to the Dynasty, only this time much wetter.

Both of us were extra-determined to get our money's worth from the meal. I immediately went for the bread and butter, salad, fruit, chips, and desserts. Kimi on the other hand went for the seafood, meat, and desserts.

Making the most out of the buffet

I felt quite sick at the end of it all which could only mean one thing: it was worth it. At least it won't be for another month or two until we do such a thing again.

The Wonders of Working at Web

The halls of Web, where genius is cultivated

The marketing department at Web had devised a set of 3 demonstration classes centred around applying for a new job. I should mention what the demo class really is: a sales pitch to lure in new students. The first of these classes, "How to write a CV", was handed to Johann and I. We had covered this topic a few months ago in one of the extra curricular activities Web occasionally holds (I mentioned it here), so this would be no problem for us. We still had to do some preparation, and spent a good couple of hours finalizing the power point presentation and running through what we would say. All of this was to absolutely no avail. We were expecting 30 students or so we had been told -- 3 showed up. This sums up how Web usually operates:

1. Somebody (probably the boss) has an idea that he thinks will make money for the school.
2. The idea is not run passed anybody first.
3. The people who have to actually work to make the idea a reality are told at the very last minute.
4. If multiple departments have to work together there will be no communication whatsoever.
   
5. Because there was nobody to manage the situation the event is an utter shambles.
   

I read a fantastic quote on another blog a couple of years ago that defines what it can be like working in the Chinese education system:

"In China information is on a need to know basis, and you don't need to know"

I wish I could remember the website I read this on to credit the statement. It has rung true on uncountable occasions.

Web has also introduced another brilliant idea with LOHAS (Lifestyles of Health and Sustainability). It involves the foreign teachers talking to a select set of students about how to live a healthy alternative lifestyle. Once again, we were all clueless, we didn't even know anything about the concept. The first of these LOHAS classes came from Kristian who had to introduce the topic and talk about tea drinking. The idea could have been worse I thought. That was until they revealed the venue where the class would be taking place: Pizza Hut. Yes, Pizza Hut. Of all the places to discuss healthy lifestyles. Again, bewilderment is the word.

I had my LOHAS class on Saturday, my topic: clay sculpting. Where it fits into the definition of the term is beyond me, but at least it wasn't in Pizza Hut this time. A group of six students, a couple of marketing personnel, and me would be going to a clay shop and apparently have a go at sculpting something (I wasn't told any details, I just wait for the surprises). The shop in question wasn't exactly close to the school, it would take a taxi ride for sure. Of course money is no object at Web, but they insisted that walking there would be part of a healthy lifestyle, so a twenty minute walk in the rain was scheduled for us. When we arrived we were shown around the tiny shop and introduced to many small figures and crockery. All explanations were in Chinese which again made me question the relevance of doing any of this, as the activity should primarily be an English learning exercise more than anything else. We were then taken into the back of the shop, handed a few slabs of clay, and began copying one of the already finished sculptures. I worked with Cucu who is one of the marketing brains behind the idea. We sculpted this:

It was surprisingly enjoyable moulding this lady out of a slab of clay, I was proud of the result even though she seems to have minor back problems

Birthday

Today being the 27th of February means three things to me: it's my birthday, it's my sister's birthday, and it's my grandma's birthday. I am sure you can guess from this that I am a twin, with my sister being a whole five minutes older than me. I have never really managed to get my head around the bizarre fact that my mother's mother also shares the same birthday as Sally and I. The odds of such a thing must be an incredible number, something like, I don't know, 365-1?

Today was unfortunately also a working day for me -- and a working day with English Corner. I have explained my dissatisfaction with the "EC" plenty of times in this blog, today was no different. I thought, "Of all days to get away with murder, today would be it." I could use -- pardon the pun -- the birthday card. So I did. I announced at the beginning of both classes (one in the afternoon, one in the evening) that it was my birthday, talked a bit about my sister, and put on an episode of one of my favourite TV shows. I was happy to see that the afternoon class particularly enjoyed the episode I had chosen -- I knew then that I had got away with it. All in all I have had a pretty good day at Web. I had a delicious meal with Johann and Kimi at a Hong Kong restaurant, and also received a gift off one of my students and friends, Michelle. Kimi even gave me some gifts even though I had told her not to (the camera she bought me for Christmas was my Christmas and birthday present). One of the items was a red bracelet with gold Pisces fish on it. It is customary in China to wear something red when it is your birth year's animal. Mine is the Ox, and this year is the year of the Ox.

The two Pisces fish

I am not having a party tonight as with Web's terrible hours we don't finish until 9pm, so I will be having a gathering on Sunday night instead. I chose Sunday as it's the only day in the week we finish early at 7pm and don't have to work until 1pm the following day.

Happy Birthday Sally, and Happy Birthday Grandma. Have a slice of cake:

I'm 24 now unfortunately, I'll replace the photo with this year's cake when I get it

Pollutiony (adjective: thick or having much pollution)

The weather in Wenzhou has been dull and pollutiony (I know that's not a word, but I'm not giving in to saying it's foggy, because it's not, it's pollutiony). There are clear days in Wenzhou and then there are days like these, it's all in the roll of a dice. I guess it might be to do with wind direction, sometimes we're lucky and the pollution is sent to Taiwan, other times it veils across the city like a pillow suffocating us all to death -- albeit very slowly. It is this point alone that makes Wenzhou not a place to live for a long duration of time. It's fine for now, but I am still not comfortable with the fact that I am unintentionally smoking the equivalent of a couple of packets of cigarettes every day.

I have used this example once before I think: above, The Wenzhou World Trade Centre on a clear day. Below, the same building today, ugh.

I had a class a few days ago which was centred around the environment. I asked my student if he knew which cities were the top pollutants in the world. This young man was clever, talkative, and inquisitive, so I thought he would know for sure. Actually, he didn't. He told me an answer which I have heard all too many times since I started working at Web: "To be honest, I think London is the most polluted city". He explained to me his reasons why, which were all correct -- if we were still in Victorian times. I told him it is not like that now at all, but he insisted that it is because of the 2012 Olympics, so the government are moving away all of the factories from the city. This highlighted to me how, once again, many people have been misinformed on basic facts.

The Changing Faces of Web

The wall of Web's teachers and tutors

It seems that the already rapid turnover of staff at Web is about to drastically accelerate. On Friday all but one of the tutors -- the Chinese teachers -- will officially be resigning from the training centre. It was all a bit of a coup, and it seems that not one of them has altered their position. If anything they are all resilient to leave and start afresh elsewhere -- which is a good thing right?

The drama all kicked-off just before I was about to return to work at the beginning of this month. To cut a long story short, it began with the new year bonus money being an absolute joke (we got 500 RMB, better than nothing, but a few thousand short than most companies in the city would have paid to their employees), then on top of that our grand dictator, er....I mean, boss, decided that the global economic crisis is coming for Web so some wages may have to move south for a while. The final blow came when he announced that tutors were ten-a-penny to get hold of, and that they would have no chance of finding a better alternative. United they stood, and united they decided to show him who was boss, and quit. Of course he attempted to bribe them back (never with money though), all to no avail.

So now, here we are, with half of our office changing hands. It will be sad to see them go, I hope we keep in touch with each other. For some of them I feel it really is the excuse they needed to do what they want to do. Five new tutors have been hired -- a slight kick in the teeth -- but we shall see how smoothly things operate once the changeover begins. Somebody's going to be busy changing the staff portraits, although I will wager it doesn't get changed for at least a month.

Imagining Cars

Before I start writing my entry for today, I just want to reiterate my thanks to the people who left me advice in my previous post. Each comment has genuinely been of help, and I will obviously keep you all posted on the events that unfold....eventually.

I was back at work today, five classes again. It seems the credit crunch has only hit the shoe factories, as there are new students forking out thousands of RMB for English classes every day. Since I was away for over a month I don't seem to recognise a large proportion of the faces now. It is another disadvantage of working in the "training centre" business: the incredibly rapid turnover of students and teachers. In less than one year I have seen eight or nine colleagues leave; the job just isn't designed for long-term employment. I have made some good friends at Web, but most of the people I teach are temporary passengers in the mechanics of factory-farmed English lessons.

Today I had three salon classes (which are aimed at group-work activities). Each of them were frustrating, very frustrating. The first was a beginner class. It was a simple topic: fairy tales. The start of the lesson was OK, I explained "Little Red Riding Hood". Easy enough I thought. Next, I asked them to tell me about a very famous Chinese fairy tale: "Niu Lang and Zhi Nu". Of the seven students present, none of them could explain to me the story. In fact, I knew it better than all of them. Can you imagine not being able to summarise "Jack and the Beanstalk", or "Goldilocks and the Three Bears"?

I wanted them to tell a story in simple English. I wrote the first sentence and the last sentence of the story, and one-by-one we would go round the classroom adding new sentences until we got to the end. It was simple enough, very easy I thought. But I was wrong. Apart from one young man in the class, they couldn't do it. I was beginning to get a little annoyed as I waited in silence for the next student to reply. I wasn't backing down this time, and after a short while he piped up, "It's too hard to think in English". I knew this wasn't true, I wasn't asking for Shakespeare, so I asked him to just tell me in Chinese, we could easily translate it -- nothing. Not even in Chinese could he think of a simple continuation to the story. They were completely bereft of any kind of creativity, it was astonishing to see.

I have often doubted my own abilities with regards to explaining things, but now I have been given proof that even if I was speaking Chinese I would not get answers to many of my requests. It seems that using one's imagination is an incredibly difficult task for my Web students (a lot of them anyway). Is it the education system's fault? Have they relied on their logical left-side of the brain for all the mathematics and business related activities for too long? Has their creative right-side of the brain completely given up and gone on a permanent holiday to the Maldives? I do not know. But it's bloody hard getting anything other than "nothing" if I ask a "What do you think...?" question.

I won't go into detail with my following salons, but suffice to say, then next higher level class was equally as disappointing. I was asking for advice for simple problems like, "I can't sleep at night" etc. Again, I got the bare minimum. It was another painful hour. My final salon was different, it was better, but it was just too difficult for them. If they cannot understand the English on the handouts then I don't know what to do.

In other news, Kimi is on the verge of buying a car after passing most of her driving test (the final part of three is next week). She is in the lucky position of having her mother pay 100,000 RMB (about £10,000) for a brand new motor. We have been looking at small cars, which have all noticeably copied the design of the new Mini:

The Suzuki Cooper....er, I mean Swift

One thing that isn't cheaper in China is the automobile. An example of this is the Mini Cooper itself. To buy a second-hand new model -- barely driven -- can cost 340,000 RMB (£34,000). To buy the same Mini brand new from the UK costs just £13,000 (130,000 RMB). Why the price difference is so extreme I have no idea. It makes me really wonder at the amount of money so many Wenzhounese are making when they can afford these huge Porsche 4x4 cars -- all brand new of course, they wouldn't be seen dead with a second hand model I'm sure.

Worries....

I don't know exactly why it is happening now, but I have been constantly preoccupied with thinking about the unknown. It may have begun while I was back in England where I finally decided on a possible career that I am certain I would be happy spending a portion of my life pursuing. But I can't get on with my "plan" just yet because I want to spend more time in China. However, since I have returned back to my job, I can immediately tell that I am not where I should be. At the moment I am passing time by working at Web, and I am not sure for how long I can do it for. I have mentioned previously how I could not possibly leave Kimi, that is not an option, but what can I do in China instead of being a "laowai" entertainer?

Also, since I returned I have been speaking to Kimi about the possibilities of the future, and me returning back to England one day. Doing this to her is very difficult as she is completely happy in Wenzhou and has never had any intentions of moving away -- until I brought it up. The last thing I want to do is drag her from her home and job, but on the other hand I don't feel doing what I do is a suitable position to be in for the rest of my life.

All of this has been whizzing around my mind a lot, it has caused me to have a few sleepless nights which I am thankfully getting over now. But still, things are very uncertain. I am stuck with these facts:

1. I want to be with Kimi
2. I want to go home (although I am happy to stay-put for now)
   

Any advice on this matter would be hugely appreciated.

Oh, to have a dog's life....

Fireworks

The Chinese New Year has started -- not in the best way possible -- but it's started nonetheless. I was meant to begin work at Web on Sunday, a day I wasn't particularly looking forward to. I managed to get in bed and go to sleep at midnight, only to be woken 40 minutes later by fireworks. If one thing has represented Chinese New Year for me it must be fireworks. Since I returned they have been exploding all day and everyday. Even now, more than one week later, they are still going off.

Anyway, I was woken up by the explosions the night before starting work. Maybe it was a bit of jet lag combined with a few worries, but I ended up having no sleep whatsoever that night. It was extremely annoying and continually frustrating. I watched the night turn into day and decided the time had come to take my first sick day -- the kind of thing I really hate doing, I always think I won't be believed. After telling Web that I wouldn't be coming to work I finally managed to have a sleep for a few hours in the morning. Watching a boring film helped surprisingly well.

If it wasn't for one of these going off in the middle of the night I may have had a better sleep

My body clock seems to have adapted now, thankfully. I feel a new sense of sympathy for people with insomnia.

Going Home

For over one week I have completely negleted my blog. This is mainly due to having a seven day working week -- and nothing else of interest happening. I ended up with this workload due to Chuck leaving Web for a new job. We decided to exchange days off which meant I had a very enjoyable four day weekend last week, but had to endure seven days of non-stop work this week. As the week progressed, it seemed the nearer I got to my final lessons, the slower the minutes were ticking. I also slipped into "holiday mode" far too early, which meant that instead of having the motivation to teach five classes on Sunday, all I really wanted to do was lie in bed and watch a terrible Christmas film.

Today I came to the end of my seven day run. It was also my final day at Web for over one month. Tomorrow I will begin my long journey back home to England. It is going to be tiring. At 6 o'clock tomorrow I leave Wenzhou for Shanghai Pudong Airport. I will then be whisked to Dubai where I will leave one plane and board another. Finally, I should arrive in Manchester by 7pm on Christmas Eve. Altogether it will be around 30 hours of travelling -- brilliant.

I received my first Christmas present of the year this week. It was given to me by a student at Web -- Paul. I was very touched at this, and also realised that I really have made a few good friends at work, not just in the teaching staff. I will open it on Christmas day.

My first present -- at the base of my incredibly tiny Christmas tree

I also had a Christmas class with the children I usually teach on Saturday. Because I was working all day we had to arrange it for the evening. I thought I wouldn't be able to handle it because I was so tired, but I actually had a very enjoyable time. Crystal -- the lady who I work with -- also gave me a Christmas bonus which was extremely kind. At the end of the lesson we had a few pictures taken. I took a couple with Crystal's baby, and realised I have no idea how to hold one properly.

Me (looking sleepy) with my Saturday class

With the oldest student in the class (I've uploaded this one because my eyes are open)

The boys

Me and Crystal

I am very excited about going home, the only negative is that Kimi couldn't come with me. I will miss her very much, but at least we have Skype to make things easier.

Next time I write, I will be in England. Here's hoping for a smooth journey.

Christmas in Wenzhou

Although it doesn't really feel like it, Christmas has actually arrived in Wenzhou. The hotel -- in which Web is located -- is now filled with an array of tasteful, and not so tasteful Christmas decorations. Of course, the Web centre itself has been fitted out for Christmas also, but beneath all of the decorations, I can't feel that Christmas is happening at all.. It is just business as usual here, no party spirit, and no anticipation that a major holiday is approaching. Still, I have an excuse to start being excited: I will be going back to the UK in less than two weeks, home in time for Christmas day. I have started shopping for gifts, and don't think anything will be left until the last minute this year -- which makes a pleasant change. The only problem I face when shopping for gifts in China is that I can't buy anything that is too heavy due to the luggage allowance of 20kg that is imposed by the airline I am flying with.

Christmas tree in the foyer of the International Hotel

At Web we are also holding a party for Christmas which was planned to be held on the 21st so that Chuck (who is leaving before the 25th) and I could attend. This afternoon I came into work and found that the day of the party has changed to Christmas day itself. As usual there was no prior communication about this, someone had stuck a new poster to the wall, and it was actually one of the students who told me about it. Obviously neither me or Chuck will be able to go. Jane and Nancy in human resources decided to bypass all forms of common sense by asking me to delay my flight so that I could stay for the party. I couldn't comprehend what they were saying to me, why on Earth would I want to stay for a party at Web instead of going home (which I have been away from for nine months) to have Christmas with my family?

In all truth I am quite relieved I don't have to go to the party. All of the teaching staff had been asked to do a performance, something like a song, dance, or any kind of talent. Kristian and I were planning on singing and playing a kind of folk-esque version of Jingle Bells on the guitar. I am still completely unprepared for it and we haven't practised together yet. I feel guilty that Kristian is going to have to do it on his own, but after talking to him yesterday he told me that he knows a student who plays the guitar who he can ask to join him on stage.

I have four days off starting from today because Chuck -- who I mentioned earlier -- would like my days off next week to prepare for his new job before he officially leaves Web. It is certainly a bonus for me now, but it means that next week I will work for seven days without a break. It won't be as bad as it could be, because when that week is over I will take one day off and then head to Shanghai Pudong Airport to go home. The excitement should keep me going I hope.

Sweet Potato and an English Contest

Today has been a tough day at Web, six classes has not been an ideal start to my working week. Apparently one student was determined to have a class, and who was the only teacher free at her desired time?  Me. It wasn't so bad in the end, but I find I am completely drained from having that extra lesson. At this time of year I was really hoping that the schedule would be much lighter than it is, but we are working almost the same workload as in summer. I am becoming increasingly tired of it too, I think I need this upcoming holiday.

After Web today, I was treated to a pleasant evening with Kimi, Johann, Michelle, and Elwin (two students from Web). We went to a Korean restaurant, and even met a Korean man with a big beard who advertised that he owns factories in Wenzhou (we can thank him for days like this). We ate a sweet potato dish which brought memories of Hangzhou flooding right back to me. Richard (my friend from the UK who lived in Hangzhou) and I would regularly visit a restaurant each week that served this special type of sweet potato.  It is sticky, red-hot inside, but very delicious.

The dongbei (north eastern) Chinese restaurant in Hangzhou, in some ways very similar to the Korean restaurant we visited tonight, especially with its sweet potato dish

Before today I had just had a very relaxing three days off -- one more than usual -- due to me doing another favour for Web last week. I was asked to judge for the English competition that some Wenzhou university students took part in. I think they asked me because I had already spoken to a few of the students who took part a week earlier (I wrote about that here).

It was an interesting few hours indeed. The contestants had previously passed the first round that had taken place at the university, and would this time be coming to the Web centre itself. The winners of the second round will be entering the final which is taking place on December 11th. I guess if I am going to be asked to do this one too, I will be asked an hour before the event takes place.

The group of 40 or so students were split up into two groups: professional, meaning they were majoring in English; and non-professional, meaning they majored in something else. I judged the professional group with one of Web's tutors, Chrissy, and a university lecturer. We made our way to the "Web cafe", an odd place to hold the contest, but they had moved all of the tables and chairs out making it semi-acceptable. We sat behind our desks, and were handed the criteria for marking. All we had to do was give each contestant points, we didn't even have to say anything. There were two rounds for this process: the first was a performance, or talent show, and the second: improvised hosting.

I was surprised by two things in the competition: the lack of male contestants, and the fact that most of the students who chose singing as their talent couldn't actually sing at all. Hats off to them, they have the kind of confidence I am lacking in.

At the end of the judging, our papers were collected and the students returned to their campus. It seemed to be the university's job to count the scores and tell the winners, they did it a day or two later, so I have no idea who got through. If Web has nothing to do with the final, I wouldn't be surprised if nothing more is said of the matter.

Ganbei

Last night Johann, Kristian -- a new teacher from Canada -- and I were invited out for dinner by a few students. I had expected that we would visit a small cheap restaurant, the kind of which I have become accustomed to. The end result however, wasn't quite what I had in mind.

The students took us to a new restaurant a short taxi ride away from Web. We walked up the stairs, past all of the food laid out on tables for customers to pick (no menus in these places), and entered a private room. This was not going to be cheap. The food was ordered and in no time we were eating. Everything was going smoothly -- until the boss came in.

The man walked in with cigarettes in hand and sat himself down at our table. The students translated what he was saying to us. Apparently, because the restaurant is new, he wanted to celebrate this fact with us. Immediately, our three bottles of Tsingtao beer were replaced with Heineken. From this point onwards the eating stopped and the "ganbei" began (in Chinese "ganbei" means bottoms up, or down in one). The beer was flowing like water, the second I finished a bottle, the waitress immediately replaced it and refilled my glass.

The boss seemed very happy with the proceedings, and invited his friend's son into the room. He sat between Johann and Kristian, and spoke to us in English for a while, of course he had to down some drinks with us too. Next, a couple of the managers came in, and they drank a few more glasses of beer with us. After this, the boss decided to order something a little stronger than beer: cognac -- and two bottles of it. My glass was filled three quarters of the way up with the stuff, and once again we had to down it in one. More managers flocked in and also drank with us individually. Business cards were flying all over the room, each member of staff giving us their card (not that I could understand a word of Chinese on them). I have no idea how much we drank, but it was enough to send the room spinning.

A bottle of Remy Martin that Kimi's mother gave to me, similar to the stuff we were drinking last night

As soon as I arrived home I passed out on my bed. I was even too drunk to speak to my mum and dad who call me on Sunday night. Instead I wrote a message to them saying I couldn't talk due to the cognac. When I awoke at 7am this morning my head was killing me. I took three painkillers, but they didn't seem to work for at least thirty minutes when on the front of the packaging it quite clearly said "instant relief".

My day at Web was a very slow one, I was grateful that my final class of the day was with some of my favourite students. I think I would have died if I had been stuck with a beginner salon (salons are the bigger classes with up to ten students).

Also, today was Ryan's final day at Web, and in Wenzhou. He comes from Australia, is only one year younger than me, and has been in China since January. He joined the training centre about seven months ago, but recently things hadn't been working out. Unfortunately he will be leaving for Hangzhou tomorrow, and then to Shanghai. I just hope he can find happiness wherever it is he decides to stay.

Finally, Kimi gave me her old phone today. She took it to one of the mobile phone stores and managed to get the software changed from Chinese into English. I am now in possession of a considerably better phone than the one that was stolen from me. I just have to keep this one safe.

Wenzhou University

This evening I was taken to Wenzhou University where I had to give a class about "How to improve English in a short time". The reason: to advertise my workplace, Web.

In the morning I still had relatively no idea what I was going to say to the students, some of whom were taking part in an English competition at the end of the week. I was also told that a lot of them would be English majors. I had no time to prepare anything yesterday due to having 6 classes, and today I noticed that my schedule had me down for three in the afternoon, preparation time would be strictly limited.

I completed my first two classes as usual, and my manager, Grace, came to have a few words with me. It was after 3 o'clock -- just over two hours until we would be leaving -- that she told me there would be about 150 students attending the class. Last week I was told it would be considerably less, this was news indeed. My heart skipped a beat and I began panicking, I had never spoken in front of so many people before.

I had no time for dinner, or to see Kimi, because I still had preparation to do. Charles, my boss, bought me a couple of pies from McDonald's to fill the gap. At 5:30 me and one of the course consultants, Cucu (pronounced Cuckoo) climbed into Charles' Audi, and we started the fairly long trip to the university.

Unlike in the UK it seems most universities in China are well outside of the city centre. They are also huge in size, almost like a small town. After a 30 minute drive, we entered the campus area. It seemed that every student owned a bike. Walking must be out of the question due to the sheer size of place. We went past a KFC, and finally entered the car park to one of the buildings.

Together, we all walked inside the complex and found the classroom where I would be giving my class. I stepped into the room, took a quick glance, "Yes, there are about 150 people here," I thought in my mind. I was suddenly jolted into confusion when everybody started to give me a round of applause. I hadn't done anything, all I did was walk through the door. It was a very odd experience, I kept asking "What did I do?" The clapping seemed to continue for quite a long time, when it stopped I felt like all eyes were on me. The nerves were certainly kicking in, which was made even worse when I saw a lot of the students taking pictures of me.

I had to play a short DVD to introduce Web to the students, it was very corny and of course made the training centre look like a brilliant environment to study English. After the video ended it was my turn to speak. I told the students I was a little nervous as I had never spoken to so many people at one time before, they responded by laughing as if I had just told the best joke ever written. They were very inviting and seemed extremely happy that I was there talking to them.

Before I began the class I was actually quite worried that the students would be very shy and wouldn't speak back to me. This is a common problem at Web, so I didn't expect it to be different at the university. I was wrong. Although there were a few shy people in the audience who didn't want to speak, most of them were extremely talkative and responded to me incredibly well. When I asked them a question I got a resounding response from a large majority of them, in unison too. I had also completely underestimated their level of English. Some of the items I had prepared would have been too easy, so I managed to change my plan and go off one of the many English corners I have done before.

In many ways I felt like a minor celebrity visiting the school for charity purposes -- or something along those lines. As I stood at the front of the classroom talking, I could see camera flashes and mobile phones pointing at me for the duration of the class. It was surreal, why was I getting all of this attention? I know the reality, the reason was just because I am a 'laowai'. One girl even told me that I was the first foreign person she had ever met, so she was quite excited. I felt flattered that someone could be excited to meet just me. I was in for another surprise at the end of the class when mayhem broke out. There were immediately dozens of people surrounding me, taking pictures of and with me, asking for my mobile number, email address, and QQ number. I was quite embarrassed really, I felt like it was all completely undeserved. My head shouldn't have been able to fit through the door on the way out.

As my boss drove us back home, I sat in the Audi feeling exhausted, relieved, and rather bemused, "What had just happened in that place?"

When we arrived back at the four star International Hotel, we entered the foyer and walked to the lifts which take us to the training centre. Near to them are some toilets. A few days ago I noticed this sign on the door of the disabled toilet:

Designed by PoliticallyCorrectSigns.com

Here's My Card

After just eight months of working for Web, I have finally been given my business cards. I also seem to have an e-mail address -- wzchris@webi.com.cn -- which I didn't even know about. Business cards seem to play a big part when meeting new people here in China. I guess I can join in with the tradition now. Other than that, the cards are quite useless, unless I use them for advertising private tutoring (which is completely against the rules of my contract).

Talking of private tutoring, I had my fourth class with the primary school students today -- I wrote about my first class here. Again, I had a very pleasurable time, and also learnt that they love competing with each other. For some reason they weren't really in the mood for concentrating, and the questions weren't flowing very well. Crystal -- their main teacher, and the person's home I go to for the class -- mentioned that we could turn the questions into a competition. It was amazing, as soon as I drew a table on the board with "boys" and "girls" on each side, they started going crazy trying to trying to score points by asking and answering questions as well as possible.

After the class was over I was invited for lunch by a couple of the parents. We all went together to the same Sichuan restaurant as last time. It was delicious, one of the best I have been too. One of the boys, Philip, requested an interesting item from the menu: Goose feet. Believe it or not, chicken, goose, and duck feet are all fairly popular with some people in China. I can't imagine why, where is the meat on such a thing?

Goose foot: not for the faint-hearted

Crystal and the children's parents were very kind for paying for the dinner and giving me a lift back to my apartment. The mother who drove me home even tried to have a conversation in Chinese with me. I was quite happy that I understood most of what she was saying, although my answers were full of mistakes. I had better back to reading the vocabulary in my green notebook.

I have been invited by an ex-employee of Web to his duaghter's one year birthday party tomorrow. Kimi is meeting me in a few minutes and we are going to visit the local toyshop to see what we can buy. It is tradition in China to give money in a red envelope for this kind of thing, but considering I am a foreigner and he is a foreigner, I think a gift for the baby is quite suitable. I have also promised Kimi that I will go shoe shopping with her after buying the gift....(snore).