The Wonders of Working at Web

The halls of Web, where genius is cultivated

The marketing department at Web had devised a set of 3 demonstration classes centred around applying for a new job. I should mention what the demo class really is: a sales pitch to lure in new students. The first of these classes, "How to write a CV", was handed to Johann and I. We had covered this topic a few months ago in one of the extra curricular activities Web occasionally holds (I mentioned it here), so this would be no problem for us. We still had to do some preparation, and spent a good couple of hours finalizing the power point presentation and running through what we would say. All of this was to absolutely no avail. We were expecting 30 students or so we had been told -- 3 showed up. This sums up how Web usually operates:

1. Somebody (probably the boss) has an idea that he thinks will make money for the school.
2. The idea is not run passed anybody first.
3. The people who have to actually work to make the idea a reality are told at the very last minute.
4. If multiple departments have to work together there will be no communication whatsoever.
   
5. Because there was nobody to manage the situation the event is an utter shambles.
   

I read a fantastic quote on another blog a couple of years ago that defines what it can be like working in the Chinese education system:

"In China information is on a need to know basis, and you don't need to know"

I wish I could remember the website I read this on to credit the statement. It has rung true on uncountable occasions.

Web has also introduced another brilliant idea with LOHAS (Lifestyles of Health and Sustainability). It involves the foreign teachers talking to a select set of students about how to live a healthy alternative lifestyle. Once again, we were all clueless, we didn't even know anything about the concept. The first of these LOHAS classes came from Kristian who had to introduce the topic and talk about tea drinking. The idea could have been worse I thought. That was until they revealed the venue where the class would be taking place: Pizza Hut. Yes, Pizza Hut. Of all the places to discuss healthy lifestyles. Again, bewilderment is the word.

I had my LOHAS class on Saturday, my topic: clay sculpting. Where it fits into the definition of the term is beyond me, but at least it wasn't in Pizza Hut this time. A group of six students, a couple of marketing personnel, and me would be going to a clay shop and apparently have a go at sculpting something (I wasn't told any details, I just wait for the surprises). The shop in question wasn't exactly close to the school, it would take a taxi ride for sure. Of course money is no object at Web, but they insisted that walking there would be part of a healthy lifestyle, so a twenty minute walk in the rain was scheduled for us. When we arrived we were shown around the tiny shop and introduced to many small figures and crockery. All explanations were in Chinese which again made me question the relevance of doing any of this, as the activity should primarily be an English learning exercise more than anything else. We were then taken into the back of the shop, handed a few slabs of clay, and began copying one of the already finished sculptures. I worked with Cucu who is one of the marketing brains behind the idea. We sculpted this:

It was surprisingly enjoyable moulding this lady out of a slab of clay, I was proud of the result even though she seems to have minor back problems

Pollutiony (adjective: thick or having much pollution)

The weather in Wenzhou has been dull and pollutiony (I know that's not a word, but I'm not giving in to saying it's foggy, because it's not, it's pollutiony). There are clear days in Wenzhou and then there are days like these, it's all in the roll of a dice. I guess it might be to do with wind direction, sometimes we're lucky and the pollution is sent to Taiwan, other times it veils across the city like a pillow suffocating us all to death -- albeit very slowly. It is this point alone that makes Wenzhou not a place to live for a long duration of time. It's fine for now, but I am still not comfortable with the fact that I am unintentionally smoking the equivalent of a couple of packets of cigarettes every day.

I have used this example once before I think: above, The Wenzhou World Trade Centre on a clear day. Below, the same building today, ugh.

I had a class a few days ago which was centred around the environment. I asked my student if he knew which cities were the top pollutants in the world. This young man was clever, talkative, and inquisitive, so I thought he would know for sure. Actually, he didn't. He told me an answer which I have heard all too many times since I started working at Web: "To be honest, I think London is the most polluted city". He explained to me his reasons why, which were all correct -- if we were still in Victorian times. I told him it is not like that now at all, but he insisted that it is because of the 2012 Olympics, so the government are moving away all of the factories from the city. This highlighted to me how, once again, many people have been misinformed on basic facts.

Going Home

For over one week I have completely negleted my blog. This is mainly due to having a seven day working week -- and nothing else of interest happening. I ended up with this workload due to Chuck leaving Web for a new job. We decided to exchange days off which meant I had a very enjoyable four day weekend last week, but had to endure seven days of non-stop work this week. As the week progressed, it seemed the nearer I got to my final lessons, the slower the minutes were ticking. I also slipped into "holiday mode" far too early, which meant that instead of having the motivation to teach five classes on Sunday, all I really wanted to do was lie in bed and watch a terrible Christmas film.

Today I came to the end of my seven day run. It was also my final day at Web for over one month. Tomorrow I will begin my long journey back home to England. It is going to be tiring. At 6 o'clock tomorrow I leave Wenzhou for Shanghai Pudong Airport. I will then be whisked to Dubai where I will leave one plane and board another. Finally, I should arrive in Manchester by 7pm on Christmas Eve. Altogether it will be around 30 hours of travelling -- brilliant.

I received my first Christmas present of the year this week. It was given to me by a student at Web -- Paul. I was very touched at this, and also realised that I really have made a few good friends at work, not just in the teaching staff. I will open it on Christmas day.

My first present -- at the base of my incredibly tiny Christmas tree

I also had a Christmas class with the children I usually teach on Saturday. Because I was working all day we had to arrange it for the evening. I thought I wouldn't be able to handle it because I was so tired, but I actually had a very enjoyable time. Crystal -- the lady who I work with -- also gave me a Christmas bonus which was extremely kind. At the end of the lesson we had a few pictures taken. I took a couple with Crystal's baby, and realised I have no idea how to hold one properly.

Me (looking sleepy) with my Saturday class

With the oldest student in the class (I've uploaded this one because my eyes are open)

The boys

Me and Crystal

I am very excited about going home, the only negative is that Kimi couldn't come with me. I will miss her very much, but at least we have Skype to make things easier.

Next time I write, I will be in England. Here's hoping for a smooth journey.

Time is Money

On Friday night I was invited to talk with two children -- a brother and sister -- who will be moving to England next year to study. You may be confused that I am in the country of the one child policy and was visiting a brother and sister, but apparently a lot of money can literally buy you another child. Most cannot afford it as the fee can reach the millions for a second child. Anyway, back on topic. I didn't want to go to their home on my own, so asked Kimi to accompany me -- I never would have found their apartment on my own anyway. We took a taxi to the building, made our way to the twenty fourth floor, and knocked on the door. A large teenage boy opened the door and didn't say a word. We were guided into what I thought would be an expensively decorated apartment. In reality it was considerably worse than my own apartment, but with much more space.

We sat on the white sofa, Kimi and I looking at each other with a sense of bewilderment -- nothing was happening. A second later, a young girl ran into the living room and dashed into her bedroom. Their ai yi (housekeeper/nanny) brought us a cup of green tea each, at which point Kimi asked where the mother was. Apparently she had just left the apartment to find me a suitable drink: coffee. Why tea wasn't good enough for me, I don't know.

Minutes later the mother returned with a box of instant Nescafe in hand. Immediately the ai yi was summoned to make it for me, although she wasn't quite sure exactly what to do with it. We were guided to the dining table and the teenager and the girl sat down. A pile of English text books were thrown on the table and the mother brought a stack of paper and some pens. "Was this a lesson now?" I was very confused about this whole meeting. I decided it would be best to talk to them and see exactly how good their English was. After a few minutes I found the boy to be very pleasant with a good grasp of spoken English. His sister on the other hand was a complete nightmare. I have witnessed spoilt children before, and she fitted the category perfectly. It was painful trying to talk to her, she wasn't willing to even attempt to speak English. As I sat there trying to get her to ask questions, I could only think of my private class of similar aged children that I teach on Saturday morning. Those children are the polar opposite of that girl, sometimes I can't get a word in because they are so keen to talk.

After ninety minutes I wrapped up our talk and made sure if there was a next time, I would speak to the brother and sister separately. I was putting my shoes on when I saw the mother talking to Kimi and handing over some money. It seems that Kimi has worked out my going rate for English classes, and it's not cheap by the look of the 300 RMB we came out with.

We went to D & L square today to eat at the newly opened Papa John's. It felt very much like Christmas inside with the decorations and music playing. I can't quite believe I will be home in such a short time, all I have to do is get through this upcoming 7 day working week.....help!

Papa John's: the newest American franchise to make it to Wenzhou. Subway is comming next

Sweet Potato and an English Contest

Today has been a tough day at Web, six classes has not been an ideal start to my working week. Apparently one student was determined to have a class, and who was the only teacher free at her desired time?  Me. It wasn't so bad in the end, but I find I am completely drained from having that extra lesson. At this time of year I was really hoping that the schedule would be much lighter than it is, but we are working almost the same workload as in summer. I am becoming increasingly tired of it too, I think I need this upcoming holiday.

After Web today, I was treated to a pleasant evening with Kimi, Johann, Michelle, and Elwin (two students from Web). We went to a Korean restaurant, and even met a Korean man with a big beard who advertised that he owns factories in Wenzhou (we can thank him for days like this). We ate a sweet potato dish which brought memories of Hangzhou flooding right back to me. Richard (my friend from the UK who lived in Hangzhou) and I would regularly visit a restaurant each week that served this special type of sweet potato.  It is sticky, red-hot inside, but very delicious.

The dongbei (north eastern) Chinese restaurant in Hangzhou, in some ways very similar to the Korean restaurant we visited tonight, especially with its sweet potato dish

Before today I had just had a very relaxing three days off -- one more than usual -- due to me doing another favour for Web last week. I was asked to judge for the English competition that some Wenzhou university students took part in. I think they asked me because I had already spoken to a few of the students who took part a week earlier (I wrote about that here).

It was an interesting few hours indeed. The contestants had previously passed the first round that had taken place at the university, and would this time be coming to the Web centre itself. The winners of the second round will be entering the final which is taking place on December 11th. I guess if I am going to be asked to do this one too, I will be asked an hour before the event takes place.

The group of 40 or so students were split up into two groups: professional, meaning they were majoring in English; and non-professional, meaning they majored in something else. I judged the professional group with one of Web's tutors, Chrissy, and a university lecturer. We made our way to the "Web cafe", an odd place to hold the contest, but they had moved all of the tables and chairs out making it semi-acceptable. We sat behind our desks, and were handed the criteria for marking. All we had to do was give each contestant points, we didn't even have to say anything. There were two rounds for this process: the first was a performance, or talent show, and the second: improvised hosting.

I was surprised by two things in the competition: the lack of male contestants, and the fact that most of the students who chose singing as their talent couldn't actually sing at all. Hats off to them, they have the kind of confidence I am lacking in.

At the end of the judging, our papers were collected and the students returned to their campus. It seemed to be the university's job to count the scores and tell the winners, they did it a day or two later, so I have no idea who got through. If Web has nothing to do with the final, I wouldn't be surprised if nothing more is said of the matter.

Wenzhou University

This evening I was taken to Wenzhou University where I had to give a class about "How to improve English in a short time". The reason: to advertise my workplace, Web.

In the morning I still had relatively no idea what I was going to say to the students, some of whom were taking part in an English competition at the end of the week. I was also told that a lot of them would be English majors. I had no time to prepare anything yesterday due to having 6 classes, and today I noticed that my schedule had me down for three in the afternoon, preparation time would be strictly limited.

I completed my first two classes as usual, and my manager, Grace, came to have a few words with me. It was after 3 o'clock -- just over two hours until we would be leaving -- that she told me there would be about 150 students attending the class. Last week I was told it would be considerably less, this was news indeed. My heart skipped a beat and I began panicking, I had never spoken in front of so many people before.

I had no time for dinner, or to see Kimi, because I still had preparation to do. Charles, my boss, bought me a couple of pies from McDonald's to fill the gap. At 5:30 me and one of the course consultants, Cucu (pronounced Cuckoo) climbed into Charles' Audi, and we started the fairly long trip to the university.

Unlike in the UK it seems most universities in China are well outside of the city centre. They are also huge in size, almost like a small town. After a 30 minute drive, we entered the campus area. It seemed that every student owned a bike. Walking must be out of the question due to the sheer size of place. We went past a KFC, and finally entered the car park to one of the buildings.

Together, we all walked inside the complex and found the classroom where I would be giving my class. I stepped into the room, took a quick glance, "Yes, there are about 150 people here," I thought in my mind. I was suddenly jolted into confusion when everybody started to give me a round of applause. I hadn't done anything, all I did was walk through the door. It was a very odd experience, I kept asking "What did I do?" The clapping seemed to continue for quite a long time, when it stopped I felt like all eyes were on me. The nerves were certainly kicking in, which was made even worse when I saw a lot of the students taking pictures of me.

I had to play a short DVD to introduce Web to the students, it was very corny and of course made the training centre look like a brilliant environment to study English. After the video ended it was my turn to speak. I told the students I was a little nervous as I had never spoken to so many people at one time before, they responded by laughing as if I had just told the best joke ever written. They were very inviting and seemed extremely happy that I was there talking to them.

Before I began the class I was actually quite worried that the students would be very shy and wouldn't speak back to me. This is a common problem at Web, so I didn't expect it to be different at the university. I was wrong. Although there were a few shy people in the audience who didn't want to speak, most of them were extremely talkative and responded to me incredibly well. When I asked them a question I got a resounding response from a large majority of them, in unison too. I had also completely underestimated their level of English. Some of the items I had prepared would have been too easy, so I managed to change my plan and go off one of the many English corners I have done before.

In many ways I felt like a minor celebrity visiting the school for charity purposes -- or something along those lines. As I stood at the front of the classroom talking, I could see camera flashes and mobile phones pointing at me for the duration of the class. It was surreal, why was I getting all of this attention? I know the reality, the reason was just because I am a 'laowai'. One girl even told me that I was the first foreign person she had ever met, so she was quite excited. I felt flattered that someone could be excited to meet just me. I was in for another surprise at the end of the class when mayhem broke out. There were immediately dozens of people surrounding me, taking pictures of and with me, asking for my mobile number, email address, and QQ number. I was quite embarrassed really, I felt like it was all completely undeserved. My head shouldn't have been able to fit through the door on the way out.

As my boss drove us back home, I sat in the Audi feeling exhausted, relieved, and rather bemused, "What had just happened in that place?"

When we arrived back at the four star International Hotel, we entered the foyer and walked to the lifts which take us to the training centre. Near to them are some toilets. A few days ago I noticed this sign on the door of the disabled toilet:

Designed by PoliticallyCorrectSigns.com

Buffet Blowout

I have just come home from a birthday party of an ex-Web employee's daughter. She was one today, or should I say two today, seeing as I am in China. For those who aren't aware, as soon as a baby is born in China (in many parts anyway) they are immediately one year of age, there is no counting of days and months, they are just one for the whole year. It is just like how we count the years: we say it is 2008 now, but if we use the Western way of counting age, we are only in our 2007th year and 11th month.

We arrived at the party more than one hour late because of work finishing at 7pm today. This meant that the buffet dinner was almost eaten by the time we stepped into the function room at the hotel. It was free, so I can't complain. I wasn't very hungry anyway, Kimi had bought me Papa John's as she was so excited that it had opened in Wenzhou today (although it was paid for with my money). I hope the baby likes the gift we bought -- it is a big telephone that can speak English and Chinese.

We had a much more pleasant night tonight than last night. We had planned to go on a night out for our new teacher, Kristian from Canada. Unfortunately the planning had been left to the wrong person and nobody had a clue what we were doing. Most of the others were working so Kimi and I waited until 7pm for them to finish -- I was still only semi-conscious after the trauma of shoe shopping in the afternoon. Eventually we decided to go The Victoria Hotel for the buffet. When we got there -- just like tonight -- it was too late, and most of the food had been obliterated. I couldn't be bothered going anywhere else and would have been satisfied to sit down and start eating, but Kimi wasn't having any of it (she was right, it was not worth the expense). After some talking, we decided to go elsewhere, left the hotel and caught a cycle-rickshaw.

It was Saturday night, so things were extremely busy in Wenzhou. The rickshaw driver decided the pavement was a better option than the road for driving on. As we rushed past a crowd of people, I felt us hit something on the right hand side. I looked and saw that we had collided with a man's leg. The driver stopped, got off the bike and began apologising. The man was furious, shouting and pointing at his leg all of the time. I didn't know what I was supposed to do in the middle of this, people were crowding around and starring right at us. Eventually the driver said "sorry" for the 100th time and we drove off.

A few minutes later, we pulled up outside the restaurant of Kimi's choosing, but it looked different. My worst fear came to fruition: they had changed the restaurant into a hot pot restaurant. After eating the hot pot here, I have not had any appetite for it again. The waiters had set the table and were ready to take our order. With a little embarrassment we got up, apologised, and left. We had no clue where to go next.

After strolling around for a few minutes we ended up near a cheap noodle shop, a place we regularly frequent. They serve brilliant fried rice, so in defeat we went in. I felt terrible that we had ended up in this place and weren't with Kristian having fun. Fortunately I spoke to him and found out that he was so tired he didn't even want to come out and went home not long after arriving at the hotel. We have planned to do something after work this week which should be much less of a hassle I hope.

Kimi and I were on our way home when we decided to buy a dessert from a dessert shop inside the large Intime department store. These shops specialize in fruit desserts, especially ones containing a lot of mango and coconut. We made our order, but unbeknown to Kimi, she had made a mistake: Instead of ordering mango with coconut ice, she had ordered mango with coconut yoghurt. "Just as the night couldn't get any worse" she said with complete sincerity. I ate the yoghurt and she ordered the ice. I do hope we never have any real problems to deal with in the future.

Mango, black sticky rice, and the disaster: coconut yoghurt

Tomorrow I have been asked to go to Wenzhou university to talk to the students about how to improve their English in a short time. In all honesty, I haven't a clue what I am going to talk about. I don't even know the kind of level I should be aiming for. The only reason they are sending me is to advertise the training centre, unfortunately my sales pitch is not going to be up to scratch.

Here's My Card

After just eight months of working for Web, I have finally been given my business cards. I also seem to have an e-mail address -- wzchris@webi.com.cn -- which I didn't even know about. Business cards seem to play a big part when meeting new people here in China. I guess I can join in with the tradition now. Other than that, the cards are quite useless, unless I use them for advertising private tutoring (which is completely against the rules of my contract).

Talking of private tutoring, I had my fourth class with the primary school students today -- I wrote about my first class here. Again, I had a very pleasurable time, and also learnt that they love competing with each other. For some reason they weren't really in the mood for concentrating, and the questions weren't flowing very well. Crystal -- their main teacher, and the person's home I go to for the class -- mentioned that we could turn the questions into a competition. It was amazing, as soon as I drew a table on the board with "boys" and "girls" on each side, they started going crazy trying to trying to score points by asking and answering questions as well as possible.

After the class was over I was invited for lunch by a couple of the parents. We all went together to the same Sichuan restaurant as last time. It was delicious, one of the best I have been too. One of the boys, Philip, requested an interesting item from the menu: Goose feet. Believe it or not, chicken, goose, and duck feet are all fairly popular with some people in China. I can't imagine why, where is the meat on such a thing?

Goose foot: not for the faint-hearted

Crystal and the children's parents were very kind for paying for the dinner and giving me a lift back to my apartment. The mother who drove me home even tried to have a conversation in Chinese with me. I was quite happy that I understood most of what she was saying, although my answers were full of mistakes. I had better back to reading the vocabulary in my green notebook.

I have been invited by an ex-employee of Web to his duaghter's one year birthday party tomorrow. Kimi is meeting me in a few minutes and we are going to visit the local toyshop to see what we can buy. It is tradition in China to give money in a red envelope for this kind of thing, but considering I am a foreigner and he is a foreigner, I think a gift for the baby is quite suitable. I have also promised Kimi that I will go shoe shopping with her after buying the gift....(snore).

A Day in the Life of a Wenzhou Web Teacher

Today -- being the first day of my working week -- began on a bad note. I was almost run over by a motorbike while I walked to work. The road was clear, so I crossed. Then, out of nowhere a bike came directly at me. There was probably a horn used, but considering so many drivers use their horns all of the time, it serves no function anymore. I have completely stopped listening to it. The bike braked right at my leg making a minor impact. It hurts a little as I sit down now, but it is almost nothing. The whole event was like hitting your leg against a cupboard as you walk out of a room. I was standing in the middle of the road with the bike directly to my left, the driver -- a man -- just starred at me with no emotion. I was waiting for him to say "dui bu qi" (sorry), but nothing came. A lack of common decency is one of the few things that can really get to me. I spoke a couple of expletives (in English), and walked onwards to the hotel.

The road in question, with a similar looking bike making its way towards me again

When I arrieved at Web I was shown my timetable for the day. It displayed six classes, with one of those being the "demo class" for students of Wenzhou University. Again, I wasn't happy. I could not believe they were giving me the responsibility of this demo, and then giving me five classes on top of it. How could they expect me to do a good job when they don't give me any time to prepare anything?

I started to think that the day could not get anyworse, when somehow my luck began to change. My first two classes were really enjoyable and we had a good chat, my mood was totally reversed. When I finished my second class I was told that the time of the demo was wrong on my timeteble, so another teacher would have to take my class. Even better (not for poor Johann though). Afterwards, I had a nice lunch with Kimi, and returned to the hotel to prepare my demo class. They had given me a topic that I had to talk about: "How to improve English". I found some websites and made a simple power point presentation. Just as I finished the lot, it was time to go into the English Corner room to start.

I expected the level of the students in this class to be generally better than what I am used to. Also, because they were all university students I hoped that they would be much more talkative as a group. I stood on the small stage in the English Corner room, introduced myself, and after ten minutes found out that they were just the same kind of audience I have become accustomed to. It was me talking a lot while I tried to retrieve a conversation from them, the words 'blood' and 'stone' came to mind. Thankfully three students in the room were asking questions and joining in. The rest just didn't understand a thing I was saying or were too embarrassed to say anything. It was tough, but after forty minutes we got something going and they started to relax with me a bit. I wrapped up the class, said goodbye, and continued to my next one, an "Ice Breaker", the lowest level at Web.

An example of what it is like teaching in the English Corner room -- with me and Johann

Somehow a class about "Time" became quite enjoyable, well I had fun anyway. We practised saying the "th" sound as in "three" for about ten minutes. One woman just couldn't get it and kept pronouncing it as an "s" sound, so "thank you" turns into "sank you" -- a common mispronunciation in China. Also, in my final class we had a nice conversation about travelling too.

I walked home feeling that I had actually had an enjoyable working day at Web. Recently I have become to tire of the routine of each class, the topics coming around again and again and again (if I get the planets one more time I am going to go insane). The working day starting at 1pm and finishing at 9pm is starting to grate, and the fact that so many students have no desire whatsoever to learn English is wasting my time. Thankfully, today was a good one, I hope tomorrow is too.

Teaching Children....Again

On Saturday morning I started my first private tutoring job. A prospective student had visited one of my English Corners at Web, and recommended me to her friend, Crystal, an English teacher. She emailed me asking if I would be interested in helping a group of eight primary school children practise what she has been teaching them in class. It would be one hour a week on Saturdays at 10:15 am.

I thought about how much I really didn't want to work on my days off as we are sometimes worked to the bone at Web. I was considering turning down the offer when I thought about the experience, the possibility of getting my name out there for more work, and the fact it was only one hour. I sent a reply to her email telling her I'd give it a go.

On the day, I arrived at the meeting place -- outside a restaurant -- a little tired from the Halloween party the night before. I received a call from Crystal telling me that "she had sent two girls to get me". This sounded a bit ominous, I thought we might be going inside the restaurant. Seconds later two young girls came running up to me shouting hello. "This could be them" I thought.

We walked away from the restaurant, turned a corner, and entered an apartment building. After climbing a few floors we came to Crystals home. She welcomed us in with a big smile, and even said I could keep my shoes on -- usually they're off at the door in China.  I was directed to a chair positioned in front of a whiteboard in her living room. As she had mentioned there were eight children (5 girls and 3 boys). Also, a few of the parents had decided to stay for the class. I was a little nervous by this point, everything was new and nobody knew me.

I sat down and she told me, "you can just pretend it is like an English corner". At that very moment I realised I had not planned a thing to say to these students. I panicked for about a second, but then somehow my autopilot kicked in. I introduced myself, and started talking and writing on the board. Then I had a shock, they started talking back to me too.

I have become so accustomed to students of a certain age who are not willing to speak English, that to be sitting in a room with 10-14 year olds who actually want to speak English was quite refreshing. All of them answered questions and understood the vocabulary and grammar I was using. I was impressed, these children were better than half of my fully grown students at Web. It was genuinely a joy to be with them for an hour, and in no time the class was over. I didn't look at the clock once.

Crystal invited me, with the children, to go to a Sichuan restaurant, this was a good sign, they didn't want to say goodbye and good riddance. As we were walking out she told me that I was just the teacher they had been looking for. I felt very flattered and relieved that they thought the class was a success. I could not have done a class like that a year ago with such comfort and ease.  I feel that I really have learnt a set of important skills in my time here in China, none of it has been a waste.

The last time I taught children was in Hangzhou (from August 2007 to January 2008). They were a few years younger than the children I am teaching now -- and much more difficult to handle. When I worked in the kindergarten it was quite exhausting, and I could never agree with teaching 5 year old children up to 7 o'clock at night. The kids were mainly brilliant, but very often me and Bobby -- an American anaesthesiologist who came to China with his wife and three children -- had no idea what we should be doing for classes. There was no guidance or help from anybody, we were just thrown in at the deep end.

I remember going on an outing with my classes to pick oranges in a farm just outside of Hangzhou. I am in complete disbelief that this was almost one year ago to the day (I remember being incredibly ill a couple of days right after this).

Don't forget the peace signs

Bomb!

Although it does look like a bomb has just blasted outside The Wenzhou International Hotel -- it isn't. It was still a certain type of explosion, but in this case, just (deafening) fireworks. What was the reason for this? A wedding. Not only does the hotel accommodate shops and an English training centre, but also function rooms for weddings to take place. Just before the bride and groom exit their large black car --with flowers glued onto the sides -- the fireworks are set off to let the world know somebody is getting married.

Unfortunately there is little "tradition" left in the wedding procedure here. The bride usually wears a white wedding dress instead of the much more culturally significant Qi Pao. Sometimes the bride and groom will sign the legal documents in private before arriving for the ceremony, but other than that, everything else takes place in a hotel function room. The room is often decorated with things like hearts, pink ribbons, and large photographs of the couple posing in various locales.

When the event kicks off, there will usually be a host who introduces the couple and tells jokes about the family by shouting very loudly down a microphone. The couple will then say a few words, maybe sing a song, play a game, and ganbei (bottoms up) drinks with all of the guests sitting around each table. Food and drink is continually served throughout the procedure with military precision. All of the dishes are standard expensive Chinese offerings, usually a lot of seafood, like Crab, Lobster, Oyster and Turtle.

Unlike a western wedding, nobody brings gifts, instead they will give a red envelope with money inside. Just like the red envelope I mentioned here (but with a little more money than I got inside mine).

It's Halloween tonight, which means I will be working. I have been asked to host the event with a tutor, Candy. Even though it is my day off I still need to go into work to "practise" my lines with her. I get the feeling that the management are taking this holiday far too seriously, as if it is a big occassion like Christmas Day.

I have finally completed my costume -- which took a great deal more effort than I had hoped for. All I needed to find was two simple items: a green waistcoat and white face paint. Only the kindness of others has made it possible for me to find everything. Kimi went to various shops trying to find the clothing without success, and yesterday Michelle, a student, helped me to find a purple jacket and lend me a tie. Finally, the minute after Kimi found a shop that sells white face paint, Johan calls me up to tell me his girlfriend has a ton of the stuff at her school (she is a middle school teacher). If you haven't guessed, I am going as The Joker from the film, Dark Knight. Not an origianl idea if I was in England, but considering I am in a country where the film hasn't even been released, it should be quite surprising I hope.

Another student said something interesting at the end of my final class last night too. She told me the class was "delicious". I didn't feel like I should correct her on that.

Halloween, Health, and Huh?

I am writing this entry in my office at work because I've just been handed the rare gift of a cancelled class. For the past twenty minutes I've been scouring the internet on Tao Bao --an eBay style website -- trying to find the clothing for my Halloween costume, all to no avail. I can't write Chinese which is obviously a huge hindrance with this kind of thing.

My manager has asked me to host the party on Friday, which will consist of telling a group of people in a bar where Halloween came from and why we celebrate it. Then, with a tutor, Candy, we will introduce each game that will be played. Games include: mummy wrapping (who can wrap a person with toilet roll the quickest), magic box (students will put their hands in a box and guess what they are touching), and the only traditional game of the lot, bobbing for apples. It should be fun I hope. Just need to find my costume now.

Yesterday I began trying to do some exercise again. Since I came to China it has been difficult to join a gym due to the money I never seem to have spare. For quite a few months I have been using my Nintendo Wii as a convenient way of exercising -- and it really works. I don't have Wii Fit yet (although I would love to get hold of it) because the console is region locked, so buying a copy in China would be a waste of time. Instead I have been playing the only game that came bundled with the machine: Wii Sport. For anybody who doesn't know, you have to physically move the controller in real-life to make a change in the game. For the Wii Sport game you have the option of playing Tennis, Bowling, Baseball, Golf, and Boxing. By far the most physically challenging is the boxing. Each morning I have been playing the boxing for twenty minutes or so, and by the end I am quite exhausted. The game has become so hard I now spend each round dodging punches, which is much harder than you would expect.

However, since I bought the guitar a few weeks ago, the time spent on exercising has been spent on practising instead. Yesterday I decided to switch the Wii back on and try to get into a better routine (I think getting to sleep and waking up earlier would be a good start). Now, as I am writing this, my arms are aching like I've never even considered doing exercise before. It always amazes me how quickly the body can revert once you stop using it.

My "Mii" on the left in the blue, I ingeniously called him Chriis.

On a different topic, in my previous class at Web, we were asking questions which somehow got around to the t-shirt I was wearing. I told them it was bought in England, and they thought it was probably made in China, possibly even Wenzhou. I looked on the tag but there was no sign of the country of origin. Then, to my amazement, one of the women in the room said, "Why don't you take it off and you can have a really close look then?". I sat there stunned as she smiled back at me.

Chatting Myself to Death

It has been a strange day today. On the one hand it has been quite stressful and hectic, and on the other, it has been very pleasant.

I say it has been fairly hectic as I have gone through six classes -- not something I am used to. What made things worse was that it was partially my fault I had six in the first place.

Johan and I devised an idea to get students chatting more in English -- something which many of them have said they want to do. We both arranged to try out our idea: to have six students sign up for a class, bring a conversation topic to get the ball rolling, and then have a relaxing "chat" with each other. Johan had his turn on Sunday, and mine was today. I really wanted to have a go at this because many students mentioned how much they liked the idea, but I really wanted to wait until our schedules were lighter. When I checked my timetable on Wednesday (we always get them the day before), I noticed only four classes and the extra chatting class for me -- perfect. Actually it wasn't perfect, because I didn't see that one of my lessons wasn't highlighted on the piece of paper (I don't even look at the other non-highlighted lessons). So at 6:10 this evening, when I was out with Kimi and Ryan, I received a call from Tina at reception:

"Chris, you have a class now, where are you?"
I replied, "No, I don't have a class now"
"Yes you do"
"No, I don't"
"Yes you do, at six o'clock"
"No I don't"
"Yes you do"
"Really?"

At that point I rapidly made my way back to the hotel, almost fifteen minutes late for the class. Luckily I was let off considering it wasn't highlighted on my sheet, and the two students that attended didn't mind at all (or if they did the certainly didn't show it).

To add insult to injury, one of the teachers, Paul, asked if he could exchange a day off with me because his girlfriend was coming down from Hangzhou. He really didn't want to leave her in his apartment all day. I sympathised with him and said I'd do it. But this also means that I am working again tomorrow, taking my working week for this week from six days to seven -- without a day off. What am I doing to myself??

Apart from that, the rest of my day has actually been very pleasurable. In my first class a student, Purple (yes, I know), kept saying very nice things to me. One thing that I really felt meant something was when she said how comfortable and confident she feels when speaking English in my class. When I started this job I was worried I couldn't match the kind of personalities of the other teachers at Web, some were so lively and funny, I couldn't be like that. But comments like Purple's today remind me that being myself is important. I am me, and that is OK.

Also, later in the day, my chat with the six students that signed up was very enjoyable. All of them were in my list of favourite students, a huge bonus for sure. We talked about a variety of topics from religion to movies, and crime to ghosts. It really felt worthwhile, and before any of us knew it, one hour had past. Brilliant.

Yesterday, I mentioned that Web will be hosting a Halloween party (58 RMB per person). I saw that posters had been put up all around the centre to advertise the event. I am fairly embarrassed to be associated with this "most authentic American Halloween". Why oh why oh why didn't they run the English past one of the teachers first, or even ask one of us to write it? Again, I am baffled.

Numerous copies of this poster are pinned up all around the "English Training Centre"

The English text from the poster (click to enlarge)

Cough!

The picture below was the first thing I saw of the outside world today. Was it rain? Fog? Or pollution? Maybe it was a bit of all three, but I would certainly put most of my money on it being the latter.

I don't want to completely berate Wenzhou -- I have mentioned how clear the skies can be in an earlier post. Quite often the air quality is OK, but today was a worryingly new level of smogness.

On the left, Wenzhou's "World Trade Centre" one morning a few weeks ago. On the right, the same scene today.

Today is my only day off this week because I had a three day weekend last week. Matters have been made worse because I have another "English Corner" to do tomorrow -- the third this week. I hope Web can hire some new teachers soon, it's becoming very draining maintaining the same workload that we had over the summer holidays. Let the six day week begin!

And finally, thank you to everybody who has left nice comments on my blog (you too Kimi!), it is nice to know someone is reading this instead of just me.

Tian Na!

I took my usual route home from work tonight which takes me past: a noodle restaurant, a couple of bakeries, a large shopping mall, a café, an electrical goods store, KFC, and a handful of small restaurants and shops. As I walked past the noodle restaurant I heard the sound of a running tap very close to my right ear. Something about this didn't work out in my head:

"Running tap + unusually high placement for a tap + not remembering a tap ever being near this restaurant before = it can't be a tap."

So I took a glimpse to my right, and what did I see? A BOY PISSING OUT OF A DOORWAY!!

I couldn't believe it. Standing about six steps up, there he was, calmly firing right into the street. Sure, I have seen a lot of things since I moved here, but this was a new one. The boy was well over the age-barrier to be let-off for this kind of thing, he must have been five or six years old at least. I was certainly in splashing distance, but lucky for me I came out unscathed, however I don't know if the guy with the nice leather bag behind me was so fortunate. If this boy had been raised by dogs he would have learnt the courtesy to do it up a tree or lamp-post, and if he was under the care of a cat he would have learnt to completely bury all traces of it. It's just unfortunate for him he has been brought up by humans.

Moving on, I had two great classes this evening. In one, we were talking about direction and location. The students had to draw a map on the board, each one telling the one drawing exactly what to draw and where to draw it. I don't want to sound like a primary school teacher who enjoys displaying their student's artwork (see below), but after doing this class numerous times before I thought their map was by far the most excellent (bear in mind these weren't children, they were fully grown adults). I actually had good fun in this class, and I think they did too.

"Dyned City"

This has been a painful entry today -- the finger tips on my left hand are killing me from practising the guitar. It's not all bad though because I can now semi-successfully string together 2 chords: E major and D major. I only have to learn one more and I'll be able to play the whole of Status Quo's back catalogue.

Butter Me Up

This morning I received a call from my manager, Grace. Since I worked in Hangzhou the sight of a colleague calling panics me because I think I am about to hear some bad news -- I've been conditioned well. The truth is, since I joined Web I haven't had any phone calls like this, and today was proof in point. I was told that my boss, Charles, wanted to have lunch with me today. Again, my mind was asking "Why?" I could only think there was an ulterior motive. Grace even remembered that I don't eat meat and let me choose the restaurant. I politely accepted the invitation and made my way to the hotel --where Web is located -- for 11:30. I met Grace first and then the boss and his wife joined us. We walked together to my chosen destination, the Hong Kong restaurant, which has the baffling title of "TFT Chamber". Things seemed ok, not awkward at all, in fact the bosses wife was speaking to me in very good English and asking many questions. Too much food was ordered -- a display of generosity for sure -- most of the dishes were even suitable for me to eat. And....that was it. No unveiling of an all-new contract, no sticky situations, not even a favour was asked, it was just lunch. Which was nice.

An example of the Hong Kong food served at "TFT Chamber" (the sandwiches make a welcome change from the norm)

All good gestures aside, I'm glad the holiday is coming up next week because I'm actually starting to feel tired at work. Some classes are beginning to completely drain me. I think it has something to do with the students. Some can give me energy and make me feel good, but others have the special ability of draining the life and soul out of me. This is why I would be so grateful to go back to four classes a day, it makes such a difference. National Day can't come soon enough.

Oh, I also saw the girl, who yesterday, asked where I get my haircut. I immediately noticed she was sporting a new hair-style....just like mine.

YouTube, Web and Indian Food

I posted the Nan Xi River video on YouTube yesterday, but found that once it was uploaded, the quality was terrible. It seems that YouTube compressed the video considerably, which is of great frustration considering I accidentally deleted the project file for Sony Vegas. This means I can't go back and render the video as a different file-type which may or may not be more compatible with YouTube. So that's it, I'm stuck with this horribly pixelated, compressed video. I hope it is semi-watchable at least.

Web is still busy for me, five classes a day and English Corner twice this week. Things should be different now the summer holiday is over, but we lost Ed --from Wakefield, who has gone to Beijing -- and Gary -- who has gone home for two months -- so our staff of seven teachers is down to five. By now our workload should be about four classes a day, which would be a great relief compared to the current schedule.

I had another English Corner today which was actually quite pleasurable for once. We talked about giving advice, I gave them some problems of mine to answer and asked if they had any to share. I didn't think I would get anything, but straight away one student began telling us of her desire to have cosmetic surgery on her nose (for some reason it seems to be a good thing to have big nose in China, especially one with a high bridge). At the end of the class a student came up to me to ask where I get my haircut, I knew the place, just not the name. I asked "Why?" She replied, "Because I want to get my haircut like yours." I think that's my cue to have a trim....

Last night Kimi and I went to an Indian restaurant, the only one in Wenzhou. It is very good, although quite different from British-Indian food. I wonder which is more genuine? I will have to find out one day. However tasty my potato curry was, I couldn't help but be slightly annoyed that there were only two small potatoes in the whole thing. If it wasn't for the deep-fried vegetables and the naan bread filling me up, I would have complained for sure (or asked Kimi to do it for me).

A Chinese-Indian

Another Rude Awakening

I was woken up again this morning, not by an air-raid siren, but the police....

The first time this happened, Kimi was with me to translate, it was simple, they just wanted to look at my passport to register me onto their database. This time I had no Kimi, so it was down to me to make use of my very limited Chinese. I opened the door to find two young officers who looked like they were just out of high school (I guess this type of work must be one step up from making coffee -- or tea in China). One was short and wielding a cigarette, and the other, a tall bean-pole in sneakers who probably wanted to be the next Yao Ming before joining the force. The shorter one began speaking to me and I was instantly confused by his use of "ni men" meaning "you" (plural), who else was he talking to? That had me confused, but then I discovered he was once again after my passport. I fetched it and he seemed to copy a lot of it onto another piece of paper. I'm not sure the reason why he was doing all of this, but it might have something to do with the Olympics being over and the visa laws reverting back to the way they were before the games. As all of this was happening the taller officer just stood around looking at me for five minutes. They were surprised there was no chinese writing in my British passport, didn't know of my hometown (even though that was printed in Chinese on my visa), asked if I lived with anyone else, and left.

Rick and I, with the nearest example of a Chinese policeman I could find in my pictures (although he was actually a Filipino singer/dancer -- apparently called "Eagle" -- at "Banana Leaf", a Thai restaurant in Shanghai)

Just like the policemen today, I have noticed that a majority of Chinese people I have randomly met, won't slow down their speech to aid us in our understanding of them. They just fire out word after word as they would to anybody else. At least in the UK we shout at foreigners to make sure they understand.

Yesterday I had "English Corner" at school again. This is a-class we have to teach to a large group of students, anyone can come, and they don't have to prepare anything. In all honesty, it can be a nightmare, some students just don't want to talk -- ever. However, I completely underestimated them yesterday. It seems that their written grammar is actually very good, they do not make the same mistakes that many native speakers do at home. I was very surprised. They can write, they just can't speak.

Employee Of The Month

For my two days off there was rain, thunder and lightening. First day back at work, sun, clear unpolluted blue sky (it can really happen sometimes, see left and below) and a warm breeze -- brilliant. This weekend is the Mid-Autumn Festival, a Chinese National Holiday (one of many) where the moon is celebrated and everybody eats them. Well, not pieces of the moon, but moon cakes. Although it may soon be "Mid-Autumn" it certainly doesn't feel like it.

When I arrived at work I found out that I had won the "Super Teacher" award which was very flattering. I didn't expect it, as I had won last month and thought they would rotate it around all of the teachers. The bonus money will certainly come in handy for my impending trip to Xiamen in a couple of weeks. When I came to China I didn't think I had anything to offer with this English teaching lark, I could never imagine taking any classes with adults. That's why I was more than happy to teach Kindergarten children, at least they'd be too young to know about incompetence when they see it. Since starting at Web I feel I have gained a huge amount of confidence when talking to large groups of people, and individuals too. After receiving these awards I also feel that I must be doing something right after all. Maybe I can be a "real" teacher.

Proof that blue skies do exist in China (sometimes)

Actually, I should have found out about winning the prize yesterday, but my phone ran out of credit and I didn't realise until 6pm. In China they have two main mobile phone operators: China Mobile, the biggest and most popular with the best network coverage; and China Unicom, cheaper and less popular with a not-so good network coverage. I am with China Mobile, and the service they offer is quite ridiculous. It's pay and go which is not a problem for me, when I'm low on credit it's more than easy to top up here. Problems arise when you actually have no credit, because once you're out you will not even be able to receive calls or text messages. It's understandable if you can't make a call or send a text, but what are they gaining by not allowing you to even receive a message? Yesterday I assumed nobody was texting or calling me all day, I only found out later when I tried to make a call and the lovely Chinese woman blah blah blahed into my ear to tell me that I have no cash.

All in all, it's been a great day. I had a fun class with two Business Intermediate students in the morning, we ended up discussing marriage, religion, university and careers. That's the kind of class I really enjoy. I also had another class with a new student called Yankey, a young guy with a big smile who liked to tell me about Stephen Hawking, Mark Twain and President Nixon. Later he mentioned that he has two thousand books at home, he's going to lend me some about ancient Chinese history (not that I will be able to even understand a word of it). I certainly enjoy meeting a complete spectrum of people at Web, just the other day I had a class with a gynaecologist and a doctor of TCM (Traditional Chinese Medicine).

I do seem to have one problem that is recurring at the moment though....

Frequently Asked Questions

Here are some questions that I get asked by students on an almost daily basis (sometimes in this order too):

• Where do you come from? "Great Britain" (usually they've only learnt England)
  
• Which city? "Manchester" (football fans know this one)
  
• Do you have any brothers and sisters? "Yes, a sister"
  
• How old is she? "The same age as me, we're twins"
  
• Where is she? "In England"
• Does she live at home? "No, she lives with her boyfriend" (unheard of in China, usually they must be married first)
  
• What does she do? "She is working in an office, saving up to go to theatre school"
  
• Why do you smile so much? "Because I'm not depressed, why are you smiling?"
  
• Do you like China? "Yes, of course"
  
• Which cities have you been to? "Not many, Shanghai, Hangzhou, Xi'an, Beijing, Hong Kong, Taizhou and Wenzhou of course"
• Why did you come to China? (you can find this, and the next few answers in my first post)
  
• Why did you come to Wenzhou?
  
• How long have you been in China?
  
• Do you have a girlfriend?
• Is she in England?
  
• Is she Chinese?
• Where [in China] does she come from?
• What is your [university] major?
• Why did you want to be an English teacher?
• Do you like Chinese food? "I love it"
• What is your favourite? "Sichuan food, especially Mapo Doufu"
  
• Where do you live? "He Hua Building, He Hua Road"
  
• How much do you have to pay to live there? "Too much"
  
• How much is your salary? "Not much"
  

I have found that many people feel no problem asking a taboo question such as the one above; even taxi drivers have asked me about my salary (usually right after guessing if I'm German or Russian).

On a side-note, I failed my first student today. At school we teach two types of classes: a private class with up to four students, and a salon class with up to ten. Today I had a private lesson where the topic was travelling abroad. I had one girl, Sharon, and one boy, Zero (this name is completely normal in China). I've seen Sharon many times in salon classes and have complained to her tutor about the lack of willingness she has. Today was no exception, she wasn't interested in the slightest and knew nothing of the related vocabulary. I would even explain words to them on the board and she would point and ask, "what does that word mean?" one minute later. She also stays glued to her electronic dictionary (which usually yield incredibly inaccurate results) because she has to have every single English word translated into Chinese. From what I've seen since working at Web, this is a terrible way to study a language. I can picture the way she must have to communicate: Hear English; translate English into Chinese; think of what to reply in Chinese; translate Chinese into English; speak in English.

The failing had to be done!

The International Hotel, my place of work (the school is on the third floor!) on an unusually pollution-free day.

Still no news from the pair of bankers....