Tuesday, 10 February 2009

Worries....

I don't know exactly why it is happening now, but I have been constantly preoccupied with thinking about the unknown. It may have begun while I was back in England where I finally decided on a possible career that I am certain I would be happy spending a portion of my life pursuing. But I can't get on with my "plan" just yet because I want to spend more time in China. However, since I have returned back to my job, I can immediately tell that I am not where I should be. At the moment I am passing time by working at Web, and I am not sure for how long I can do it for. I have mentioned previously how I could not possibly leave Kimi, that is not an option, but what can I do in China instead of being a "laowai" entertainer?

Also, since I returned I have been speaking to Kimi about the possibilities of the future, and me returning back to England one day. Doing this to her is very difficult as she is completely happy in Wenzhou and has never had any intentions of moving away -- until I brought it up. The last thing I want to do is drag her from her home and job, but on the other hand I don't feel doing what I do is a suitable position to be in for the rest of my life.

All of this has been whizzing around my mind a lot, it has caused me to have a few sleepless nights which I am thankfully getting over now. But still, things are very uncertain. I am stuck with these facts:
  1. I want to be with Kimi
  2. I want to go home (although I am happy to stay-put for now)
Any advice on this matter would be hugely appreciated.

Oh, to have a dog's life....

8 comments:

大眼睛熊 said...

I'm sorry baby, it's not easy for me to make a decision like that.. : ( But i'll definitely help u find another job, i know ur not enjoying ur time at web right now!!
NO worries, everything will be alright, it always does!! xxxxxxxxx

The Acolyte Tao said...

Why not just simply leave China for a while and of course stay in contact with your girl friend above me. Just visit England for 2-3 months to visit, see family, hang out with your friends, etc. Then come back to China after thinking up a plan of what you want to do as a job, figure it out, then come back with a plan and with even more love your woman.
I don't know if this is anything like you mean to be honest not understanding your situation completely, but I hope it helps at least forms some ideas or helps improve one you already have.

Namaste!

mabelp said...

Hi Chris, I know we have to make many decisions in our lives, so don't give yourself too much pressure first. I know your situation and everything has its solution.

That dog seems so cute, who is he/she?

I will reply to your email soon! Speak soon!

I.S. said...

Chris,

The fact that you’re unsatisfied just being an English teacher and worry about your future say a lot about yourself. And frankly, you’re right. You can do much better than that.

Career wise, I’ll give you the advice I got when I was your age. That is simply do what you love to do. When you’re doing something you love, everything else will follow, ie money, satisfaction, etc. If you need further studies (MBA, PhD,..) to achieve your goal, go for it. As I said before, you’re still young.

As for whether you should stay in China or take Kimi to England, that’s a decision only you two will be able to make. Either way, one of you will have to make a sacrifice. In the meantime, why not ask Kimi to go for a vacation to England and see how she likes it?

Chris said...

The comments you have all left have really been fantastic. Thank you so much for leaving your kind and helpful words, everything you've written really has helped me to think things through in a more positive way.

The Acolyte Tao, that is a very good idea. I have until April when my contract expires with my job, then I could certainly go back home for a while and sort things out. I've got a couple of months to think about that, thank you.

Mabel, you're right, everything has a solution in the end. Oh, the dog was just lying down outside a car showroom we went to!

I.S., it's nice to hear that from someone else. I've always thought that having job satisfaction was the most important thing, we shouldn't have to worry about the money etc. But recently I've become to doubt myself a bit. I really do just want to do what I love, and I think I know what that may be now. Kimi and I have spoken and we have decided to take a holiday in England sometime this year.

Kimi, I know it's going to be hard, but we'll see it through together.

Again, thank you all for your helpful comments :)

Sally said...

I'm glad you have got so many people to give you advise, and good advise at that! Hope you and Kimmi have a lovely Valentines day....is that such a big thing (i.e commercial!) in China? Been looking at flights and insurance today (when I should have been looking at looking for jobs/training. I can get a flight for £393 and insurance for as little as £13 so it's just when to come...decisions decisions! x

Alex (Sasha) said...

The fact that you’re unsatisfied just being an English teacher and worry about your future say a lot about yourself.

FYI, I.S

I suggest you look to a little not to be named island just opposite South east China.

There you will find the treatment of the foreign teacher is so much better, from everything from salary to visas. Sure they may well be problems and stress, but at least you will be getting well paid and receiving decent benefits for that stress.

It's only being in China, where an english teacher isn't so good.

Cheers.
A.

mabelp said...

Hi Sally! Valentine's Day is a big thing in HK ( don't know in Mainland China). Maybe it's a great chance for the shops and hotels to make more money! Haha!

Anyway, wish everybody here a happy valentine's day!!